It’s official. Yesterday I finally deleted the last scene that had remained from the original story that I wrote back in high school. It’s a strange feeling. I thought I would be more irritated and upset about it, but I’m actually pretty relieved. I don’t know why I hung on to all that stuff for so long. And it’s not like it’s disappearing forever. I will be using some of it in the second of the three novels… It’s just a strange feeling. I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s as if the main character is a completely different person now. Which is good. She wasn’t that impressive to begin with. So now starts the task of reworking everything and making it all flow again…
Oops. I’m so embarrassed.
My mistake. The fool picture that I posted yesterday is not the Maiden Fool from the Silicon Dawn deck–she’s the Crone Fool. The Maiden Fool is (will be–she hasn’t drawn one she likes yet) the one jumping willy-nilly off of the cliff, which I kind of like better… I thought the Crone Fool would be all old and wrinkly. Don’t get me wrong–I like that she’s not. And it makes more sense having that one be the Crone anyway since it’s the Autumn/Winter card. I’ve been in contact with the artist, who is funny and personable and charming… So now I’m even more determined to have this deck. Especially since she’s got all these cool cards called the Void and 99s…and an extra one called History that’s pretty phenomenal as well. What can I say? I’m smitten. Never thought I’d be smitten by a tarot deck, but there it is. I suppose I never thought I’d find one that I’d really like. Amazing…with all the research I’ve been doing and all the tarot decks I’ve looked at, you would think that there would be a lot more out there that I did like. But so many of them are so silly–and the art doesn’t even impress me. So well done, Egypt Urnash!
This really needs to stop.
After a rough day of writing yesterday and considering many things that my writing group (of one) asked me/made me think about, I have decided to remove one of the characters. One of my favorite characters, mind you. Not that it’s a real tragedy–he’ll come back in later on and will have a starring role in both the second and third books. Well…in the third, at least. It’s just sad, because he contributes so much to the opening scenes. He’s funny and cute and charming…
It’s just so hard. I’m really supposed to be letting go of this old character and establishing the new one, and it’s not as easy as it sounds. I want her to still be a badass, but she’s really just a frightened girl trying to figure things out for herself. She needs to be unsure of things at times, even when she knows that she has to put forward this front of knowing it all and self-confidence… Because that’s what she does. That’s her role.
So now, after finally establishing some momentum yesterday, I need to dive back in and rework the whole thing. Get into a Zen meditation and immerse myself or something so that everything’s consistent and flows and is funny. That’s not asking much, is it?